How to Support People in Emotional Pain
When someone takes their own life: What happens on the “other side” and how you can support a grieving family.
When a loved one dies, we feel sad, we feel pain, we feel lost. However, when that loved one died at their own hands – they took their life, these feelings are intensified and more complex.
I’ve been asked many times, how does it work “on the other side” when someone commits suicide? And what’s the best way to support a family grieving this kind of loss?
I have some answers for you.
Firstly, I want you to know that whether that person meant to take their own life or not, the soul always claims responsibility for their actions. They always claim responsibility for what has happened in their life and the reasons why they lost their balance and why they lost the sense of love.
When they come through to me, they don’t come through with explanations about their actions, they don’t state “Here’s what’s wrong with me.” Rather, they always come to support their loved ones by saying “Here’s what’s right about you” and “My choice was not a reflection of you. My choice was a reflection of me, how I was feeling”.
Their messages are sent to give peace. To give love to their significant other or their family and to let them know that they’re okay now and that they’re with God. That they’re sorry, and that they want to help them move on.
Dealing with pain
Some souls get to the point of not being able to function in life. They can’t get past their pains and their sorrows, or illness overcomes them.
Sometimes the pain can become a depression which stops us from being able to live our life. You become withdrawn, and you don’t want to leave the house. You become surrounded by your thoughts – and these thoughts aren’t necessarily of the highest vibration. They end up taking over and shadowing the love side.
So, if you’ve noticed that someone is in pain, how do you help them?
- I say this a lot, and I stand by it – your prayer has volume. One of the most important things you can always do is to pray. If you see someone in a desperate state, or suspect that they are but you don’t feel you can approach them, turn to your prayer.
Always go within and ask for the love to touch their heart, ask if there is someone you can contact. You do have that connection. Spirit will speak to you. Whether you’re writing in your journal, or you’re thinking about it and you’re being still enough – being in your breath and being in your body will allow you to hear what you need to hear.
- Tell them that you love them. Say “Hey, how are you?” Ask them. Speak to them. Don’t be afraid to call them or go and visit them. Showing up and letting someone know that you care is really important. BUT there is a difference between showing up and invading space. Just be aware of that difference – don’t make it about you, make it about them. Let them know how important they are to you and that if they need to talk, you’ll be there for them.
How can you support a grieving family?
This is another reminder of the power of prayer – send them love. Give them practical help, whether it’s cooking a meal, running a errand or simply being there to listen.
At the same time, give them the space to grieve. Because grieving is never easy, it’s always painful – and one kind of grief is not higher than another. Show up in the same way as you would for the family of anyone else who had passed away. Being respectful, being mindful and helping them with that loss is all that you need to do.
If you’re looking to heal your grief, or want to help someone else, then I’d love for you to have my free Heal Your Grief video series & workbook. You can access it HERE.