The one constant in all of your relationships is…..YOU! 

You know what that means. It means that our primary focus on the health and well being of ALL of our relationships is based on the quality of our relationship with ourselves! What? You mean we can’t blame the other guy for all that we don’t like inside a less than perfect relationship? Nope, sorry love- this one is on you!

What I’ve learned is: the level in which we love ourselves is what we receive from the outside world. And, how we treat ourselves is how we teach others to treat us. If we are kind, compassionate, forgiving and respectful to ourselves that is exactly what will be reflected back to us from others. 

The same holds true if we are mean, judgemental and disrespectful to ourselves. Yep, you guessed it- that is the way we will be treated by others.

Have you ever sat back and looked at the relationships you’ve had over the course of your life?

When done with a firm grounding in love, you can learn so much about yourself doing this. 

This year started for me with the intention of viewing all types of past relationships. I only focused on my side of the relationship with others. I chose to look both at hard ones and loving ones. Allowing myself to be present for the past in a new loving way, where I didn’t allow myself to go backwards to replay or judge, rather to learn. 

To stay in the vibration of love, I made a list of areas that I would focus on. I narrowed my list down to the top 3 things I was going to work on. Then I did some research for outside support and upleveled my spiritual practice.

For the past 8 months I’ve worked intentionally and lovingly with a clear mindset to restore and illuminate the truth of my soul self through healing. And, I’ve gotta tell you just how incredible this year has been. Even with the pandemic and chaos we are experiencing collectively. 

Relationships are tricky. They can leave us hurting, broken and torn into pieces. Anyone who’s lived through trauma, which is most humans by the way, has habits, pain and brokenness that they carry within them that were built to protect their younger self. What happens over time is that they attract the same type of relationships back into their life over and over that reflect the pain they are burdened with. 

Here are top 3 questions to ask yourself to begin healing your side of the relationship.  

1. How are you reactive in the relationship?
2. What are the things that triggered the reaction?
3. What actions did you take and what state of mind were you in?

It’s important to make a practice of working with these questions. This isn’t usually a one and done deal. That’s why we call it our “you work”, because it takes some work to uncover and heal past wounds so that they no longer cause us pain and stop blocking us from the joy we are meant to experience.

I also went a little further with my “you work”, by working with experts that supported the healing I was calling in. 

I recommend building your lightworker team based on key things you are looking to heal. For me, I was looking to heal reactiveness, emotional pain and to forgive and release blocked energy. 

My top 4 suggested team of supportive light workers includes: 

1. A therapist, who works with trauma and also offers energy work. 
2. A massage healer who works with Divine energy and Angels.
3. A naturopath who also offers acupuncture. 
4. A trusted friend to dialog with.

Next, I lined up resources and practices to help keep me on track with my intentional healing plan. I broke these down into easy to implement nuggets of self love. 

My top 6 daily acts of self love routine :

1. Hydration, drinking 60oz of water. 
2. Mindfulness, mantra & meditation. 
3. Yoga & movement.
4. Prayer & journaling.
5. High vibe eating. 
6. Supplements that cleanse and renew cells and build up and support your energy.

Go ahead and implement my routine in your life and add it to your “you work” practice, if you think that will fill your love void, or create a personalized list of your own daily acts of love. Either way, make sure you take action and actually do the things that you know fill you up. In no time, you will feel better, look better, think kinder, gentler thoughts and smile more. 

And the bonus prize is that you will see a magical outward reflection manifest in your relationships.

Tell me in the comment section how healthier loving relationships will make a difference in your life!